Tuesday, 4 June 2013

BUT I FAIL!



I sit alone on the pew
In the cold gloomy chapel
Fingering the wooden Rosary beads
As I try to murmur the Litany
But I FAIL!

A lump forms in my throat
Eyes start smarting
I furiously blink tears away
As I try to whisper the Novena
But I FAIL!

The more I fight the tears,
The more they fall,
Falling hard onto the words I have scribbled
Bloating the letters
As I try to write a sweet Ode to you
But I FAIL!

I can barely see through my tears,
My hand is shaking terribly
Yet I keep on scribbling away
Anguish gushes out of my broken soul
Onto the paper,
My melancholy bubbles over
And spills out as hot salty tears.

I can’t imagine you gone
I can’t stand the idea of having your body in the bowels of the earth
I don’t want to say ‘I miss you’
For I don’t want to believe you are gone.
I loved you, still do
There is discord in our lives now….
This ain’t easy
This ain’t easy
This ain’t easy
This is HAAAARD!





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