The great Bard of Avon said “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” and in Les Miserables, Victor Hugo said “Those who do not weep, do not see."
I just couldn't live without… my tears.
I have shed tears of joy...I have shed tears of anguish. I have shed tears. I have had my heart ripped apart and only through crying have I started the process of grieving.... I have had beautiful moments in life...so breath-taking and beautiful, that I found tears rolling down my cheeks..in gaiety. I cannot live without my tears... I lose some and the body has some stored up for me, for those moments when I need them....in pain and in joy.
I would have said I am afraid of the dark, spiders, heights, large water bodies. I was afraid of all these at one time, very afraid..then I learnt to sleep with the lights off, I cleaned-off cob webs and spiders from a disused room, made trips with aero-planes a couple of times and fooled around in the water at the beach a couple of times. I realised, I had met my fears head-on and conquered them.
I have lost loved ones... four of them in the past three years. This left me broken. Again I would say I fear death. Well I came very close to it when I got mugged... very very close to slipping away.But I survived. I lost my father when I was very young...I do not even remember what his voice sounded like..or how he walked... his scent. Nothing. Nothing at all. But for these four people I lost....I had known them for over a decade, shared very special moments with them. I know how they talked, how they walked, their scents. Everything. My biggest fear would be to let these memories slip. I lost them to death and the only way I can keep them closer to my heart would be to keep the memories alive. I do not want to forget how they smiled. I do not want to to have their images become blurred, I do not want their voices to become lost in the winds. For forgetting how they laughed and how they cried , how they ran and how they walked , how they sat and how they stood and how ....Lord everything.... would be to lose them forever. And that is my greatest fear.