Thursday, 3 July 2014

One of my biggest fears (day3)

I would have said I am afraid of the dark, spiders, heights, large water bodies. I was afraid of all these at one time, very afraid..then I learnt to sleep with the lights off, I cleaned-off cob webs and spiders  from a disused room, made trips  with  aero-planes a couple of times and fooled around in the water at the beach  a couple of times. I realised, I had met my fears head-on and conquered them.

I have lost loved ones... four of them in the past three years. This left me broken. Again I would say I fear  death. Well I came very close to it  when I got mugged... very very close to slipping away.But I survived.

I lost my father when I was very young...I do not even remember what his voice sounded like..or how he walked... his scent. Nothing. Nothing at all.

But for these  four people I lost....I had known them for over a decade,  shared very special moments with them. I know how they talked, how they walked, their scents. Everything.

My biggest fear  would be to let these memories  slip. I lost them  to death and the only way I can keep them  closer to my heart would be  to keep the memories  alive.

I do not want to  forget how they smiled. I  do not want to to have their images  become blurred, I do not want their  voices to become lost in the winds.

For forgetting how they laughed  and how they cried , how they ran and how they walked , how they sat and how they stood and how ....Lord everything.... would be to lose them forever. 

And that is my greatest fear.

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